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Archive for October, 2012

Last week was a wild ride and my best intentions to continue the relate series were overcome by . . . well life. So, we’ll pick back up this week! Remember if you want email alerts when I post, just click the button to the right.

When I first got married, I just knew I could convert my wonderful new bride into a world-class house-keeper. This wasn’t because I had a patriarchal sense of expectations (wife: clean, husband: hunt). I wanted Audra to appreciate the joy of a clean house as much as I did. Cleaning the house was something we could enjoy doing together. I thought that surely with a little work on my part I could make her into the person I thought she would want to be.

Turns out I was wrong. Horribly. Terribly. Miserably wrong.

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Yesterday, I posted the first five rules for “fighting fair.” Every relationship has moments of tension and disagreement. How we manage those moments will determine if the relationship grows or disintegrates.

You can find the first five rules here.

Here are the next five:

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Today’s post is the second in the series, Relate. In this series, I’m discussing some important issues that will help us improve relational health. For you that may be your marriage, a friendship, or a work relationship. 

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In the previous post, I discussed that fights/disagreements/conflict/arguments can be a good thing in a relationship. The key is to make our conflict constructive rather than destructive. Over the years, I’ve developed a list of things that will help us fight fair. Some of these I’ve stolen from others and some I’ve painfully learned on my own. Today, I’ll give the first five and tomorrow I’ll share the remaining rules. At the bottom of the post is a funny, funny video a friend shared with me about what you don’t want to do in a relationship (guys, this one’s primarily aimed at you). If you need a laugh, you can skip straight to it. Or, it can be a bonus for making it through the list.

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Today we start a new series focused on relationships. Last week I invited you to submit your relationship questions (which you can still do by emailing me @ eddierester@parkwayheights.org). Over the course of the next few weeks, I’ll share some resources and helpful reflections to help us make our relationships (marriages, friendships, families, and work relationships) a bit more enjoyable. Today we start with the most obvious issue in our relationships: How to deal with conflict

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What’s the constant in all of our relationships? You know what it is, don’t you?

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A few notes from the management before we begin today:

  • I’ve missed posting a bit this week (and last) due to a hectic schedule. Today I leave for a conference for the rest of the week. So, I’ll resume regular posting next week.
  • Today’s post will end the Pivot series. Next week I’ll begin a series on Relationships (this post will actually “pivot” us toward that new series). If you have a question or a relationship issue you’d like me to address during the series, simply email it to eddierester@parkwayheights.org and I’ll see what I can do! You can ask questions about any type of relationship—parents, spouse, children, ex-friends/spouse, marriage, neighbors. 
  • Also, I’m working on creating separate pages for the 6,629 Miles posts and the Pivot posts. The pages will compile all the posts from those two series in one place, making them easier to find. Watch for that upgrade sometime next week.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

For spring break of my senior year in college I went to New York City with a friend. My sister was a nanny for a family in New Jersey, just outside the city, so she set up all the tours, shows, hotels, etc.

The friend that traveled with me was (and still is) one of the happiest, most positive people I have ever known. He smiled all the time. He never met a stranger. He could find a common topic with absolutely anyone. As an introvert, I was always in awe of his ability to strike up conversations with people.

The week we were in New York, though, he changed.

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